Ask Izaya Orihara
by Gas Masks
Summary: Hello my humans! This is Izaya Orihara, your great information broker! If you have any questions for me, please ask, but only by PM!
1. Chapter 1

Hello dear Humans~ This is Izaya Orihara. If you have any questions for me, please PM me. I will update every Saturday~

Due to the rules of this website, you can only ask me questions be PM, not review. I hope this does not inconvience you at all. I will answer each question, but be careful what you ask. If you want to know specific information, you must give me money. But don't worry. I will tell you if it comes to that~!

See you in a bit~!


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello my dear humans. Today, I shall post the questions I have received this past week~! I will edit this again at midnight if I get new questions by the end of today~!**

**-Izaya Orihara**

**1. **Hello, Izaya. How many people's lives have you fucked up in your life? Just wondering since you could care less about others, isn't that right? Izaya, the human with a god complex, is that heartless, that is a fact.

**_Hmmm I cannot remember the full amount of people's lives I've corrupted. Probably over a hundred at the least. I don't really care less about others. I love all humans. Its not my fault they don't think before they make action~ Also, I don't really have a god complex. I'm atheist. I do think myself better then my humans though~!_**

**2. **were you always...um..well I can't find a nice way to say it So I'll rephrase it..How did you act when you were young? (5 to 10 years old)

_**No, I wasn't so 'screwed up in the head' (which I believe is what you were implying~ I would thank my parents for making me this way... Well... I don't really see anything wrong with the way I am, but I do see how others disagree. **_

_**I was cheerful and did things most thought were just spoilt childlike behavior. I was a little rough with my peers though. I was very smart and showed it. I had, and still have, photographic memory. I also had a love of learning new things and the way people worked. I guess that had progressed into what I am now, along with the help of my parents.**_

**3. **Why do you think many people draw and write you as if you were gay? I mean, there are so many yaoi parings involved with you...Shizaya, Mizaya, You and Masaomi, you and Shinra, you name it!

_**Hmm... I don't really know why so many people do that. Good question though. I guess its because the possibility with me being with another is so interesting to them.**_

**4. **Boxers or briefs? ;)

_**I prefer boxer-briefs actually. I like the way they fit. But if I were to choose which one out of those two, it would be boxers. You will never catch me wearing briefs. **_

**5. **Who will do your job after you end up in Valhalla?

_**Ooh~ I like how you chose Valhalla~! I have a soft spot for Norse Mythology. **_

_**To answer you're question, I do not know who will do my job. Someone will though. Also, I'm glad you think I'll end up in Valhalla~!**_

**6. **What traits do you look for in girls? Physically and mentally.

_**I do not look for anything in girls. I have no physical attraction to anyone. Everyone's the same. No exceptions. All of them. Equal before God.**_

**7. **I have 2 questions Izaya...one is I see Karisawa with Shizaya doujins...what do you even think about those? And the other is if there was a situation...whatever it may be...that you and Shizuo had to work together, what would your reaction be besides disgusted?

_**The first one, I think it is very strange how she is so obsessed with wanting Shizu-Chan and I to be together... **_

_**Two, If Shizu-Chan and I had to work together, I would probably laugh and play with him, make him mad, destroy things, whatever works.**_

**8. **Izaya, how do you REALLY feel about Shizu-chan? Be honest!

_**I think Shizu-Chan is very interesting. He annoys be greatly though. I don't count him as being human. That brute strength and rash thinking reminds me of a beast. **_

_**MIDNIGHT UPDATE~!**_

**9. **Doesnt Karisawa annoy you? I mean she literally says that you and Shizuo should 'do it' when you're both RIGHT THERE! Dont you just want to harm her...just a little? Like a cut or two as a warning.

**_Yes, Erika does annoy me quiet a lot. I have threatened her many times before, but not physically. Sometimes I really want to though. I might be tempted if she were to do something that overstep her boundaries~!_**

**10. **Do believe in happy endings?

_**Of course I don't~ Have you ever seen someone who has had a true fairy-tale-like happy ending? Someone who has lived with no regret? Where everyone becomes very happy, all except the villain? It only happens in movies and books. **_

**11. **Izaya, do you have any regrets?

_**Hmmm~ When I was younger, yes. But now, no~!**_


End file.
